There are some things that I was taught as a Christian that I don’t think are true. I think they actually hinder being a disciple of Jesus and miss the mark in regards to love and grace. One of the things that I have been taught to believe is that I don’t deserve God’s love. I think this is a common teaching meant to inspire humility, but I think in many cases it just feeds into a shame cycle.
Outside of that, I’m not sure that it’s biblical. I was taught to believe I’m a bad person, and it’s only by God’s grace that I’m any good at all. However, on reading Genesis 1, we can see we were created to be good. We weren’t created rotten, spoiled, or broken. However, continuing on in reading the Bible, we do see that things go off the rails. We can see that reality in our lives, too. We don’t always choose the right way. We fail. We miss the mark, after all that’s what the word sin means.
But, that doesn’t make us bad people (I still struggle to write or believe this). We fail, but we aren’t failures. The theology of we are bad people that don’t deserve to be saved is something that rubs me the wrong way, and I think it’s mainly because that’s a messed up view of love. I think we are lost people who need to be found. We need new hearts and to be a new creation, but not because the original was bad. It’s because the world as it is really jacks with us. We get hurt, so we get defensive and hurt others. Our love becomes very conditional, and the unfortunate consequence is eventually we see God’s love in the same way. When He loves us when we mess up, it becomes harder to accept fully because we believe we’re a pile of junk.
The sermon on the mount in Matthew starts with the Beatitudes, then Jesus says this –
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
Matthew 5:13-16 NIV
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
While meditating on God’s love, these verses hit me like a ton of bricks. These are identity verses. Jesus is speaking to who the people are! I wonder if there were any people there who separated themselves, on the outskirts of the crowd because they were ritually unclean per the Law, that heard this. YOU are light. YOU are salt.
Sometimes it’s almost embarrassing how many readings it takes to get some of these verses to sink in, but it’s how the Bible works.
Later, Jesus confronts our messed up transactional view of love –
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48 NIV
In other words, we should love each other as God loves us. It’s not easy to do, and without God’s help, I don’t know if it’s possible. It’s easy to grieve for people who are hurt. It’s much harder to grieve for the person who inflicted the hurt.
This carries to ourselves: when we are the cause of damage it is much easier to hate ourselves than to grieve and surrender our mess. I believe there are spiritual forces that would much rather we hate ourselves and not come fully into God’s great love. It’s terrible that self-hatred has become related to God’s grace.
I’m not saying humility isn’t important – it is terribly important. Pride destroys and warps our thoughts on what is good. We do need forgiveness from God and from others, and humility helps us pursue that. A narcissist believes he is right all the time and owes none an apology. Accepting God’s grace and identity for us shouldn’t lead us to prideful entitlement, but generous, self-giving love.
musingsonlife 